Are you getting bored of my health and fitness posts yet? Then maybe you need to find another fucking blog to read... because this is mine, and this is what I feel like talking about right now. I trust this is clear.
So, in my last post I wrote that I don't care about how much I weigh. While that is mostly true, I realize that I am also one of the most vain people in this world, and a lot of how much I weigh has to do with how I think I look. And...? Let me just say- for the record- that I have looked better. When did I look better? Well, here's the problem; I looked better when I was a pack-a-day smoker. I know, right? I had the most positive body image when I could keep the weight off with cigarettes. Most of you know that I quit smoking almost 3 years ago, and I have no intention whatsoever of picking up the habit again (sometimes when I'm on holidays I will have a 'cheat' cigarette, but since holidays for me happen only once a year, it's inconsequential). What this has meant for me is that I no longer have a method of staving off my cravings for bad food. I am definitely the type of person who, while primarily making healthy choices at the supermarket, will totally load up on ice cream, cookies, and potato chips. For 'emergencies' is what I say. What that actually translates to is an 'emergency' almost every night while watching TV.
Yeah... not good. Currently, I weigh in at almost 150 lbs (okay, so it's really 147.5, but that is dangerously close), which is fucking terrible considering my height is just a hair under 5'6. To be fair, a lot of the weight is probably leg weight since I am a runner, but it's still not ideal, since I am now considered almost overweight. So, for the first time in a long time, I went grocery shopping yesterday and DID NOT purchase any junk food. No ice cream, no potato chips.
I am determined to lose around 25 lbs by next June.
This morning I found out that my 10k running clinic has been postponed until December 7th, which will kind of set me back... so I am filling the space with boot camps and pilates classes (which I probably really need, as I have barely any core strength to speak of), and I will keep doing the practice runs on Wednesdays and Sundays. Plus, it will snow in no time, so skiing should make its way into the agenda in another month. I would say I want to get rid of alcohol as well, but the truth is that I do not drink much anymore. Really! Not even once a week. So for now booze can stay. And what about fast food? After all, I am notorious for hating to cook, and loving the convenience that McDonald's etc. bring to my life. I've decided that fast food is okay occasionally, but will need to be counteracted by a run. A good run, too, not some shitty little lunch-time faker.
So, that's that. Stay tuned to hear about my progress. Or maybe just for other posts about the crap that regularly runs through my brain that has nothing at all to do with my physical well-being. Either way.
Later, skaters.
9.30.2010
the things i've stopped caring about
Oh, 2010. What a very strange year it's been. Especially because this is the year I honestly stopped caring about certain things.
1. How much I weigh/how skinny or not skinny I am. I've finally made peace with the fact that I am not 5'10, and I'm built a little like a tank. A bottom-heavy tank. And guess what? That's okay. When I think about how many people my age I know who are not physically active, and constantly eat unhealthily, my body type seems fairly inconsequential. It's genetics... who am I to fight it? I'm actually in the best shape I've been in since maybe 8 years ago. I've decided I will run a marathon before I turn 36 (if anybody is keeping track, this happens in just a little over 2 years from now).
2. What other people think about me. Seriously, whatever. It really doesn't hurt me if someone I've been friends with for years decides to stop being my friend because they no longer agree with my views on things. I'm not trying to say I don't value friendship, but when you really think about it, it's easy to make new friends. At least I don't seem to find it difficult. I usually shrug it off if people don't like me... I'm not in this world to be liked; I'm hear to fulfill my own purpose and destiny.
3. Being in a relationship. For anyone who knows me well enough to know about my serial dating past, this one may read like kind of a joke. But let me assure you that it isn't. As the year wears on, the less and less I care about dating. It just isn't important to me anymore... I figure that if I'm meant to find 'the one' or whatever you want to call it, it will just happen. But it can't be out of desperation. I love how my friends are all "oh, but you just need to put yourself out there more". Excuse me? How much more fucking 'out there' can I put myself? It isn't like I'm a complete hermit. Either way, these days I'm a little too concerned with just doing whatever it is I feel like doing at the time, and not having to answer to anyone, or 'check if it's okay first', or face all sorts of unnecessary questioning when I get home. The only baggage I have to deal with is my own. To be honest, I started seeing a pattern. I've dated so many guys, so how is it even possible that not one of them ended up being something permanent? It's because I've never been happy in a relationship for longer than the first 6 months. I can't see my life revolving around anything but myself. At least now you know.
4. Helping people move. Bottom line: there are exactly 4 people who I will help move. Once that's happened, it's over. It's YYC, people. Buy a car, already. Get a drivers' license. Hire movers. But do not ask me. The beer and pizza only make me fat, and really, I'd rather if you'd just offer to pay for gas.
5. Drinking. No, really. Sure, sometimes I'll go on vacation and get all kinds of loaded with friends I very rarely see... but only then. Alcohol no longer plays a prominent role in my day-to-day life. Do I keep it at home? yeah, but that's for if someone comes over and I feel like they might think it's weird if I can't offer them alcohol. I'm no longer one of those 'hey, let's go for a drink after work' kinds of people (maybe only once a month; actually, probably less than that)... usually I meet people for a run after work now. There was a time I was sure I'd never outgrow drinking, but it appears I was wrong.
6. What other people are up to. I know. So bad. I rarely ever ask about what anybody is doing, and normally wait until people tell me all on their own. It's true. Then again... I've kind of always been that way. I figure that if you want to tell me, you'll just do so without me asking. I'm not nosy. I'm curious sometimes, but I feel like a lot of things are just none of my business.
1. How much I weigh/how skinny or not skinny I am. I've finally made peace with the fact that I am not 5'10, and I'm built a little like a tank. A bottom-heavy tank. And guess what? That's okay. When I think about how many people my age I know who are not physically active, and constantly eat unhealthily, my body type seems fairly inconsequential. It's genetics... who am I to fight it? I'm actually in the best shape I've been in since maybe 8 years ago. I've decided I will run a marathon before I turn 36 (if anybody is keeping track, this happens in just a little over 2 years from now).
2. What other people think about me. Seriously, whatever. It really doesn't hurt me if someone I've been friends with for years decides to stop being my friend because they no longer agree with my views on things. I'm not trying to say I don't value friendship, but when you really think about it, it's easy to make new friends. At least I don't seem to find it difficult. I usually shrug it off if people don't like me... I'm not in this world to be liked; I'm hear to fulfill my own purpose and destiny.
3. Being in a relationship. For anyone who knows me well enough to know about my serial dating past, this one may read like kind of a joke. But let me assure you that it isn't. As the year wears on, the less and less I care about dating. It just isn't important to me anymore... I figure that if I'm meant to find 'the one' or whatever you want to call it, it will just happen. But it can't be out of desperation. I love how my friends are all "oh, but you just need to put yourself out there more". Excuse me? How much more fucking 'out there' can I put myself? It isn't like I'm a complete hermit. Either way, these days I'm a little too concerned with just doing whatever it is I feel like doing at the time, and not having to answer to anyone, or 'check if it's okay first', or face all sorts of unnecessary questioning when I get home. The only baggage I have to deal with is my own. To be honest, I started seeing a pattern. I've dated so many guys, so how is it even possible that not one of them ended up being something permanent? It's because I've never been happy in a relationship for longer than the first 6 months. I can't see my life revolving around anything but myself. At least now you know.
4. Helping people move. Bottom line: there are exactly 4 people who I will help move. Once that's happened, it's over. It's YYC, people. Buy a car, already. Get a drivers' license. Hire movers. But do not ask me. The beer and pizza only make me fat, and really, I'd rather if you'd just offer to pay for gas.
5. Drinking. No, really. Sure, sometimes I'll go on vacation and get all kinds of loaded with friends I very rarely see... but only then. Alcohol no longer plays a prominent role in my day-to-day life. Do I keep it at home? yeah, but that's for if someone comes over and I feel like they might think it's weird if I can't offer them alcohol. I'm no longer one of those 'hey, let's go for a drink after work' kinds of people (maybe only once a month; actually, probably less than that)... usually I meet people for a run after work now. There was a time I was sure I'd never outgrow drinking, but it appears I was wrong.
6. What other people are up to. I know. So bad. I rarely ever ask about what anybody is doing, and normally wait until people tell me all on their own. It's true. Then again... I've kind of always been that way. I figure that if you want to tell me, you'll just do so without me asking. I'm not nosy. I'm curious sometimes, but I feel like a lot of things are just none of my business.
9.23.2010
and now for something completely different...
Wow. I just haven't had much to blog about lately that's funny/thought-provoking/even-the-slightest-bit-interesting. I guess it's mostly because I've finally fully embraced not being in my 20's anymore, and have been living a rather sedate sort of life. And it isn't bad. I think everyone knows that these days I'm mostly about all things health-related; running, considering joining the Crossfit gym, trying to eat better, sleep more... and also barely drinking at all, since I've discovered that though I enjoy a drink now and then, it's not something I can't live without. I'm also in the process of determining what the destination of my eventual move away from Calgary should be... it's looking overwhelmingly like Toronto now, rather than the West Coast which it was originally (but don't worry, it's a little ways into the future because I can't afford a move right now). So, I've certainly got some stuff on the go.
But that's not the point of today's post (um... does anyone else notice I haven't posted since something like April...?). I would like to direct your attention to something better. More specifically, it is the personal blog of my cousin. It is the journey of a man once plagued with addictions who has begun a journey of self-discovery on the way to achieving a once long-lost childhood dream, and list of things to do before the clock runs out (he calls it the Fuck-it List). Even if you're not super into inspirational blogs, give it a try. It sure as fuck is what's keeping me motivated.
http://www.rtsharethedream.blogspot.com/
But that's not the point of today's post (um... does anyone else notice I haven't posted since something like April...?). I would like to direct your attention to something better. More specifically, it is the personal blog of my cousin. It is the journey of a man once plagued with addictions who has begun a journey of self-discovery on the way to achieving a once long-lost childhood dream, and list of things to do before the clock runs out (he calls it the Fuck-it List). Even if you're not super into inspirational blogs, give it a try. It sure as fuck is what's keeping me motivated.
http://www.rtsharethedream.blogspot.com/
4.06.2010
the deal-breakers.
We all have them. And some of us have more than others. Like me, for instance. But that's probably because I'm paranoid/picky/particular.
Top Ten Deal-breakers
1) You make fun of the fact that I love the movie 'Footloose', and even go so far as refuse to watch it with me. Okay... seriously? What am I supposed to believe, that all you ever watch are French art films? Because I'm not buying it. I'm not saying that it's any sort of cinematic masterpiece... but it's highly quotable, has a killer soundtrack, and it has Kevin Bacon dancing in it. Kevin. Bacon. Dancing. See? Doesn't seem all that preposterous when I spell it out like that. In fact, I like a whole ton of movies with the same kind of story line and catchy tunes. Sue me.
2) You force me to consume meals after 8 pm constantly. Not eating meals after 8 is not stupid, it's how I keep myself from having to upsize my wardrobe every few years. If your lifestyle can't accommodate my eating habits, then too bad for you.
3) You dress badly. Now, I've put up with a lot of shitty fashion choices in my day (both from myself, and from boyfriends), so now it's time to just lay it out and there and say that the way you dress either reflects well or poorly on me. I'm sorry, but when you're a guy over 30, growing your hair out is not an option. Neither is wearing a toque and a hoodie everywhere you go... especially if you've got me in tow. I take pride in my appearance, and I resent any guy who makes a mockery of that by always looking like he's going to the bar to watch the game with the boys... in 1985.
4) You have mediocre to poor personal hygiene. Alright, so when I was in college everybody was sort of sloppy in this area. But it was the grunge era. As a whole, people were greasier, smoked more weed, and slept in a lot later. Fast forward to today. You are in your 30's. You can probably identify as some sort of a professional (unless you actually can't... we'll get to that soon...). What exactly is so hard about taking a shower every day? And if I'm going to have to make out with you, could you at least brush your teeth (and not in a half-assed way where you just wet your toothbrush down... I mean for real, with flossing and toothpaste and all that)? Additionally, don't do that thing where you reach into a pile of clothes, sniff everything, then pick what smells the least offensive and wear that. I will know that's what you did.
5) You still work at some slacker sort of job. If it was an okay job when you were in your early to mid 20's, chances are it is still an okay job... for someone in their early to mid 20's. As independent as I am, I cringe when a man of a certain age still struggles hard to pay the rent. I'm not opposed to paying when we go out (I'm all for equality in a relationship), but there's something nice about a guy who will always pay the bill before I even have the chance to see it. I really dislike hearing the following: "If you pay for this on your debit/credit card, I will pay you back in cash later". Why the fuck are we even going anywhere if you don't have the money?
6)You are constantly saying "I'm a nice guy.". Um... okay, I GET it already. If you're really such a nice guy, why the hell do you have to keep saying it out loud? It's pretty much the equivalent of saying "I'm not a nice guy.". I don't really need to hear either one of those things; I will determine on my own whether or not you are worthy of me sticking around for the long haul.
7) You won't hold my hand at the movies, but you have no problem with groping me inappropriately in public. Seriously... don't fucking touch me. Ew.
8) You ask me to grow my hair out... but if I ask you to shave off your homeless-looking beard, or cut off your mullet, you get all bent out of shape. Hey, if you won't compromise, neither will I. It's how I operate. Also, I like having short hair... so if that's not your thing, you have ample opportunity to bail.
9) You don't like animals. No, not like that... but if I get a hesitant reaction when I mention that I have a dog, then I know itprobably won't work out.
10) You never listen to anything I say, and therefore have no idea who I even am. To be fair, sometimes my mind drifts mid-conversation, but I always keep my ears open for important things a guy tells me about himself. It's helpful for times like birthdays or Christmas, or just if I happen to spot something while window shopping. When you take me to the mall a month after my birthday and say "pick something out that you want, and I'll buy it", then I know it's all been going in one ear and out the other. My favorite bands, kinds of food, books, movies, etc. should all be stored in your little brain somewhere.
What are your deal-breakers?
Top Ten Deal-breakers
1) You make fun of the fact that I love the movie 'Footloose', and even go so far as refuse to watch it with me. Okay... seriously? What am I supposed to believe, that all you ever watch are French art films? Because I'm not buying it. I'm not saying that it's any sort of cinematic masterpiece... but it's highly quotable, has a killer soundtrack, and it has Kevin Bacon dancing in it. Kevin. Bacon. Dancing. See? Doesn't seem all that preposterous when I spell it out like that. In fact, I like a whole ton of movies with the same kind of story line and catchy tunes. Sue me.
2) You force me to consume meals after 8 pm constantly. Not eating meals after 8 is not stupid, it's how I keep myself from having to upsize my wardrobe every few years. If your lifestyle can't accommodate my eating habits, then too bad for you.
3) You dress badly. Now, I've put up with a lot of shitty fashion choices in my day (both from myself, and from boyfriends), so now it's time to just lay it out and there and say that the way you dress either reflects well or poorly on me. I'm sorry, but when you're a guy over 30, growing your hair out is not an option. Neither is wearing a toque and a hoodie everywhere you go... especially if you've got me in tow. I take pride in my appearance, and I resent any guy who makes a mockery of that by always looking like he's going to the bar to watch the game with the boys... in 1985.
4) You have mediocre to poor personal hygiene. Alright, so when I was in college everybody was sort of sloppy in this area. But it was the grunge era. As a whole, people were greasier, smoked more weed, and slept in a lot later. Fast forward to today. You are in your 30's. You can probably identify as some sort of a professional (unless you actually can't... we'll get to that soon...). What exactly is so hard about taking a shower every day? And if I'm going to have to make out with you, could you at least brush your teeth (and not in a half-assed way where you just wet your toothbrush down... I mean for real, with flossing and toothpaste and all that)? Additionally, don't do that thing where you reach into a pile of clothes, sniff everything, then pick what smells the least offensive and wear that. I will know that's what you did.
5) You still work at some slacker sort of job. If it was an okay job when you were in your early to mid 20's, chances are it is still an okay job... for someone in their early to mid 20's. As independent as I am, I cringe when a man of a certain age still struggles hard to pay the rent. I'm not opposed to paying when we go out (I'm all for equality in a relationship), but there's something nice about a guy who will always pay the bill before I even have the chance to see it. I really dislike hearing the following: "If you pay for this on your debit/credit card, I will pay you back in cash later". Why the fuck are we even going anywhere if you don't have the money?
6)You are constantly saying "I'm a nice guy.". Um... okay, I GET it already. If you're really such a nice guy, why the hell do you have to keep saying it out loud? It's pretty much the equivalent of saying "I'm not a nice guy.". I don't really need to hear either one of those things; I will determine on my own whether or not you are worthy of me sticking around for the long haul.
7) You won't hold my hand at the movies, but you have no problem with groping me inappropriately in public. Seriously... don't fucking touch me. Ew.
8) You ask me to grow my hair out... but if I ask you to shave off your homeless-looking beard, or cut off your mullet, you get all bent out of shape. Hey, if you won't compromise, neither will I. It's how I operate. Also, I like having short hair... so if that's not your thing, you have ample opportunity to bail.
9) You don't like animals. No, not like that... but if I get a hesitant reaction when I mention that I have a dog, then I know it
10) You never listen to anything I say, and therefore have no idea who I even am. To be fair, sometimes my mind drifts mid-conversation, but I always keep my ears open for important things a guy tells me about himself. It's helpful for times like birthdays or Christmas, or just if I happen to spot something while window shopping. When you take me to the mall a month after my birthday and say "pick something out that you want, and I'll buy it", then I know it's all been going in one ear and out the other. My favorite bands, kinds of food, books, movies, etc. should all be stored in your little brain somewhere.
What are your deal-breakers?
3.29.2010
another comprehensive list.
Likes:
1) First kisses with someone new (or just full on make-outs on the street).
2) Never having to wear heels.
3) Carrot juice.
4) Realizing that my pants fit a little looser than they did last week.
5) Yelling at kids to 'pick up yer fuckin' garbage, and get the hell off my property!'
6) Finding out I'm really a morning person, and that I've just been repressing it with years of staying out too late.
7) Unexpected deals at the supermarket. And no, I don't mean stealing.
Dislikes:
1) Periodically missing smoking, even though the exposure to it now makes me sick.
2) People who get angry when I constantly apologize for things. Um... maybe I AM legitimately sorry, dickfarmer. Fuck.
3) Finding mold on the bread when I'm already halfway through the loaf.
4) Loving everything about a movie except for the ending.
5) Never finding anything good when I Google my own name. I mean, not like I think I'm so awesome and that there should be volumes about me out there... it's just disappointing to find that I'm really fucking boring.
6) Not knowing where certain smells are coming from in my home.
7) People who won't shake hands with me. I don't have herpes, motherfucker. Also, I always carry a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse. You can borrow it after you've shaken my obviously diseased hand. Fuckface.
xo
1) First kisses with someone new (or just full on make-outs on the street).
2) Never having to wear heels.
3) Carrot juice.
4) Realizing that my pants fit a little looser than they did last week.
5) Yelling at kids to 'pick up yer fuckin' garbage, and get the hell off my property!'
6) Finding out I'm really a morning person, and that I've just been repressing it with years of staying out too late.
7) Unexpected deals at the supermarket. And no, I don't mean stealing.
Dislikes:
1) Periodically missing smoking, even though the exposure to it now makes me sick.
2) People who get angry when I constantly apologize for things. Um... maybe I AM legitimately sorry, dickfarmer. Fuck.
3) Finding mold on the bread when I'm already halfway through the loaf.
4) Loving everything about a movie except for the ending.
5) Never finding anything good when I Google my own name. I mean, not like I think I'm so awesome and that there should be volumes about me out there... it's just disappointing to find that I'm really fucking boring.
6) Not knowing where certain smells are coming from in my home.
7) People who won't shake hands with me. I don't have herpes, motherfucker. Also, I always carry a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse. You can borrow it after you've shaken my obviously diseased hand. Fuckface.
xo
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