11.09.2011

pretty smart


What can I say... a lot of heavy stuff has gone down since I last posted. Won't go into detail, 'cause that's not my style. It's always pretty humbling when shit gets real, let me tell ya... so I'm just thankful to have some really fantastic people around me to stop me from hitting the ground too hard.

Anyway. This isn't going to be a long, meandering post like some of the previous ones. Just a little 'to the point story'.

I used to be friends with this girl when I was a kid. She was my childhood best friend, and we were best friends   until we were around 24. She always used to say we were pretty much the same person, except that she was 'the smart one' and I was 'the pretty one'. That didn't really bother me for a long time, because I figured there were much worse things than being pretty. She would always interject with it, too, whenever we were out somewhere and introducing ourselves to new people. I let it go on for years, and never questioned it. Until the day when we weren't friends anymore. Over the years, she trivialized and abused our friendship, and I was stupidly and loyally happy to oblige. I am not a patient person by any means, but back then I thought that friendship was the be all end all. And you know what, it still is to me... but only with the right people. With the wrong people, it's poison. With the wrong people, it steals your soul and breaks you. This girl did that to me- slept with my boyfriends, said terrible things about me behind my back, more than once threw me to the fucking lions so she could save herself. It could have tainted my view on friendship, but instead it left me with a realization. The reason she treated me so badly and always dismissed me as 'the pretty one'? She was always jealous that I was both things. The smart AND pretty one. She couldn't be both, so she turned it against me.

Lesson...don't surround yourself with bullshit people like that. It isn't worth your time. Just be you. When you're surrounded by quality people, they will accept you as you are, and they will never use any of it to try to drag you down.