life lessons, as taught by miss voltage.

1) Everybody is a bunch of dinks. Yes... EVERYBODY.

2) If there are only 30 morons in the world, chances are you will either end up working with all 30 of them, or that you ARE one of them.

3) Throw deserving people under the bus while it's still an option.

4) A flight of stairs looks like this:

5) Just because something has an expiry date on it that has come and gone doesn't mean you can't still eat it.

6) If you actually need to ask for someone's opinion on how an outfit looks, it looks fucking terrible.

7) Redheads always seem to compare themselves to whoever the token hot ginger celebrity is. Do you have a mirror at home? You look like the love child of Carrot Top and Danny Bonaduce for crying out loud.

8) The squeaky wheel does not get the grease... it gets ignored until the car breaks down in the middle of fucking nowhere, then you have to hitch a ride into town with Jedediah the Inbred Farm Freak.

9) It's 2009. If you still can't read my blog because you don't have a computer... then fuck you.



Last week I had a half-hour-long argument with my dad about what a flight of stairs consists of. Here's how it went. For seriously 30 minutes.

etc., etc.

The basis of the argument was that when you get furniture delivered, it costs $20/flight of stairs after the first two for buildings with no elevator. Which is fine. But I said that in my building there are 5 flights of stairs, my dad said no, there are only 2 and a half.


Fast forward to yesterday when the guys came to deliver my furniture.

Delivery dude: "It says on your form that there are 2 flights of stairs so there's no extra charge... but I count 5."

Me: "Uh, yeah. I had this huge argument with my father about what a flight of stairs actually is, and he just always wants to be right so I agreed with him to get him to stop telling me that I don't know as much as he does."

Delivery dude (laughing) "Oh... well, unfortunately we do have to charge you $60 for the 3 extra flights."

Me (shrugging) "Sure. I kinda figured. You know, since I knew I was right and everything."

Moral of the story:

Just because your parents have been around since black and white TV doesn't mean they know what the hell they're talking about.