absentee blogger.

Welcome to the part of the year where I totally neglect my blog. Whatever.

So, while I kind of hate forms of exercise like yoga, tai chi (sp?), and pilates, at least I get why they can be used as forms of exercise (um... why does the word 'exercise' look so wrong to me right now even though I'm sure I'm spelling it correctly?). What I DON'T really get is this whole phenomenon of people doing pole dancing to get in shape. Okay, so I can see that it may require physical fitness and whatnot to do pole dancing, but to me it's just fucking skeezy (again... sp?).
To make things worse, there are people I actually know (not mentioning names, but people with KIDS even) that participate in this form of exercise. Whatever happened to just plain old going to the gym and pumping iron?

This may be so five years ago, but I still don't understand the appeal. I mean, these people tell me it's fun, but I think I would find it hard to tell someone with a straight face that I pole danced to keep in shape. It just comes across as a little bit trashy to me, and I think I'd rather stick to the classics... even if tai chi is kind of boring (dude, it is kung fu slowed down to a snail's crawl), and yoga is for hippies.



bad parenting 101

I posted this story on Twitter yesterday about a 4-year-old boy in the UK who flushed a tiny baby puppy down the crapper by accident.
I know, it sounds pretty funny, but it really isn't. First of all, just who in the fuck allows a 4-year-old to have a puppy anyway? And secondly, what goddamned 4-year-old is still stupid enough to think that they can wash a dog in the toilet?

When I was 4, I could already read. Not like Dostoevsky or anything, but at least Beatrix Potter and Dr. Seuss. My parents STILL didn't let me have a pet until I was 8.

I get that maybe parents want to try and teach their kids about responsibility when they're young, but how young is too young? I mean, there are 4-year-olds out there who aren't even toilet trained yet, and who can't formulate full sentences. Are there people who actually believe that they are able to be taught about responsibility? I think the kicker is that the little fucker went and blamed his brother for the mishap.

Now, I'm probably one to talk, having no kids of my own, but I have to say that no child has ever flushed a puppy down the shitter on my watch.



what? sorry... the battery in my hearing aid must have died...

I'm only part way through 32, and holy shit, but if I'm not already a grouchy old buzzard. When I was a few years younger (still in my twenties), I would often just shake off the antics of the youth of today, and I would give them the benefit of the doubt because, after all, I was young once. But these days, I scowl and frown, wish these kids would grow some kind of taste in music, shave their 'homeless poser beards', stop pretending that whatever low-rent form of employment they currently have is a real job (sometimes I wish for them to actually GET jobs), learn to drive already because it sucks to be in your 40s without a drivers' license... the list kind of just goes on and on. I'm equally as disenamoured of hippies as I am of hipsters (in a way, they are kind of the same thing... I think the key difference is that hipsters maybe shower one more time per month than hippies). It also really bothers me that so many kids nowadays choose to go straight into the workforce after high school instead of going into post secondary education (I'm not saying that after 7 years of college you will necessarily get a better job, but at least it might mean you will qualify for something more glamorous than working in a warehouse). Kids these days talk way too much, and never have anything important to say. They generally have bad manners, smoke too much weed, and don't tend to spend money on anything other than their wardrobes and cans of whatever beer is the cheapest (in this case it's Lucky, the champagne of the under 25 set).

Sigh. Maybe it's a sign of the times. Maybe someone should have written something like this for me to read when I was 20. All I know for sure is that I don't fucking get kids these days, and all they can really do for me is get the fuck off my lawn.*


* No, really. Get. The. Fuck. OFF. My. Lawn.


screw you, hippie.

The topic today is about going out to restaurants/the bar/in general when you're a hippie. Okay, so not just if you're a hippie, but if you're poor or on a budget.

Should you do it, or should you not do it?

My friend and I went out to the Ship yesterday for a burger and a couple of beer. No big deal, since we are both gainfully employed individuals. We sat at a table with a couple of hippies who were drinking beer. After awhile when they were done drinking, they put some money down on the table and took off. We had a look at what they had left, and it embarrassingly included a bunch of small change, notably pennies. Our waitress came and picked it up, and grumbled that at least they paid the tab, while we felt bad for her because we knew that she'd have tip out the rest of the staff out of her own pocket.

When you go out somewhere, you don't actually have to do anything. You sit at a table and the server brings you everything you ask for. What you are tipping for is their services. I would understand not tipping if you had to put your own beer or cook your own food at an establishment, but that's not the case. If all you can afford is to pay for your meal/beverage, then you are not really paying for anything at all... but believe it or not, there are still people who don't understand the concept of tipping. Having worked in the service industry when I was younger, I can say with a straight face that there isn't a lot of money in it. There is quite a significant reliance on the tips of patrons in order to pay the bills. If you really can't afford this gratuity, then you really need to stay home. It is possible to buy a case of beer and some food for under $20, and you don't need to tip anybody. Sure, it's not the same ambiance as sitting on a patio in the sunshine, while someone brings you your booze, and you don't have to eat KD right out of the pot on your sofa, but that ambiance is a luxury. If you can't afford to pay, fair and square, for that luxury, then you have no place on that restaurant/bar.

What do you think? Please weigh in if you can.


beer is the plural of beer.

I don't really drink all that much anymore, but I still have plenty to say about peoples' choices of beverage (don't I just always have plenty to say about everything?).

1) Those bottled coolers people are always drinking. Um, EW. You may as well just mix sugar and rubbing alcohol at that point, because that's pretty much how those taste. I've often wondered who actually tests these things before they go on the market.

2) Low-rent beer. I always get myself in a lot of shit over this one because I tend to drink Miller Genuine Draft when I can't decide what I want. To justify this, let me just say that if you've ever been at a party where your only beer choices were Budweiser or Labatt Blue, you'll totally know where I'm coming from. I get that MGD is not the Cadillac of beer, but it's not like it's Black Label either. Besides that, though, I am a well-known beer snob. I very rarely drink non-imported beer, and even amongst those choices I am fairly picky.

3) Jagermeister. Seriously, if you're going to buy me a shooter, make it straight up Wild Turkey or Jack Daniels. Jager is not only fucking repulsive, but it is a German stomach tonic. Might as well drink Buckley's cough syrup.

4) Lime juice. Not like taking the lime wedge and squishing it over your drink, but the actual lime juice from the guns. Yuck. I really don't get why anybody in their right mind ever adds it to anything, because that's a great way to ruin what could have been an okay drink.



what do you think?

So, a lot of people seem to think ferrets are good pets. Okay, so here is a picture of some baby ones in a glass:

Sure, so they're kinda cute. But... BUT... ferrets are also known as weasels. And weasels are normally categorized along with rats, squirrels, etc. as being pests.
I guess what I really want to know was when this practice of domesticating such creatures to keep as pets started. I mean, when did someone first pick up a large sewer rat and go "aw, what a great little companion this would make"???
I, personally, prefer traditional pets like dogs, cats, birds, and hamsters (yeah, so hamsters are rodents, but I had one as a toddler so I'm a bit biased). That's just how some of us are. What's your take on keeping critters such as ferrets and rats as pets in the home?



Um... glory hole anyone?
Haha... ugh.