oh hey.

So yeah, my updates are few and far between... pretty unlike my cousin. But that's how I roll, I guess. The death of AI last month had me making a last-minute decision to go to Hawaii. Not Kauai, mind you, but I went to Maui. I meant to surf more than the one time, but I'm pretty terrible (come on, there are no oceans where I live, so it's hard to get good), plus the waves were pretty tiny. The breaks are more cooperative from December onward. Next time.

I have been slacking off on my running, which is really bad. Diet-wise I am doing okay, and my pilates class is helping me keep my core-strength up, but I have only run ONCE in the past 2 weeks. May last run was in Maui, and was a mere 5k. So bad. But on the positive side, my pace was pretty fast. I probably did about 6:30-45, so that's unheard of for me. I have a fun run coming up next weekend (my running partner/friend and I are running in Santa suits), though, so it's all good. Then another couple weeks of sheer laziness before it's time to pick up the pace again for my 10k clinic (starting January 11th). After that, it's half marathon training. I had planned to do the half by late August... but now it's looking more like November in Seattle. Either way, at least I'm still more-or-less on schedule. Holiday season is a bad time of year for me, though, because I'm weak when it comes to all the delicious food available. Have you SEEN the Superstore flyers? The desserts are off the hook. Dude. Luckily I'm not much of a drinker anymore, or I'd be in some serious trouble. As it is, though it would appear that I am at my heaviest weight in at least a couple of years, a good portion of it is muscle rather than fat, so I'm happy with that. A few Christmas treats and libations probably won't hurt me, so long as I hit it hard in the new year.

A lot of people are bitching about the snow (I sort of did at first, but I was just in motherfucking Hawaii, so at least my excuse is valid), but I am stoked as all get out to hit the hills pretty quick. I hate how I ditched skiing for a few years due to my former level of inactivity. Living so close to top notch slopes, it's totally a shame when people don't shred or ride. Seriously, what is the point of living here if you don't do either of those things? Okay, so maybe your family is here and all that, and that's why... but then these people are the ones forever complaining about how cold it is, or how much it snows. I'm a traditionalist, so I never made the switch to snowboarding; I'm just more comfortable on sticks is all. Looks like it'll be a good season, though. I'm thinking of heading out sometime during the week off I have. Sweet times.

Well, that's kind of it for now. Oh yeah, year end at work got pushed ahead to February... might be able to hit up Hawaii again in the New Year. Here's hoping.


Endless Summer

You may not really know this about me, but I love surfing. It's something else to watch (but I'm not really good or even competent at it). You also may not know (but how could you not... this is the digital age, after all) that this past Tuesday one of surfing's greats, and also one of my very favourite athletes ever, Andy Irons, passed away. Here are a couple of videos I'm posting as a tribute to him. The first is his 'i surf because' vid for Billabong, and the second is the paddle out held in his honour.

Enjoy your Endless Summer, Andy. We'll never forget you.


things. things? things!

1) You know what I really don't like? People who get movie titles wrong. Okay, so sometimes I get movie tiles fucked up too, but it usually goes something like this: "You know that movie...? The one about spies from the future... I can't remember what it's called? I think it starts with an 'N' maybe." So I don't actually ever say what the movie is called because I never remember. What I mean is people who keep calling a movie the wrong title. The only reason this pisses me off is because doesn't everybody have internet these days? You can't just look that shit up so that you start using the CORRECT title? It's not difficult.

2) Ditto for people who always spell names wrong. Especially on thing like Facebook, where you can actually see on peoples' profiles how their names are spelled. I don't like people like that. Heck, I bet their own parents don't like them much.

3) What is the point of having a phone that you never answer? or voicemail you never check? Honestly, should I just delete you from my contacts? Because dude. really.

4) Is it bad that when I'm driving and see that the person behind me is talking on their cell, I sometimes slam on the brakes to see how good their reflexes are? I'm guessing it's pretty bad to do that. But still... I like to check. At the very least I can make them drop their stupid phone, and then I win.

5) No, I don't spend my whole life doing mean stuff like that.


so, how lucky do you feel...?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about where I am in life, and about whether or not it is a satisfactory place to be. And guess, what, for the most part it is. I live a fairly average life, but a good life, nonetheless. I probably could stand to make a few bucks more than I do (seriously, my tastes are just a tad more expensive than my salary allows for), be in a little better shape, be more friendly to people, take better care of my car, clean my house more, live in a city I like a bit more, blah blah, etc., but let's face it, my life is far from terrible. I'm not starving, I can pay all the bills on time, the dog is fed, the car is always full of gas. And yet, some of the people in my life try to tell me that somehow all of this is not enough. They constantly badger me about things like why I don't date, and remind me that I'm almost 35 so if I want kids, I should somehow force myself to have them.

Okay... what now? I have known since I was very young that life doesn't always work out the way you want it to. Do I sometimes feel left out- at almost 34 years of age- that almost all of my close friends are either married or in relationships that will result in marriage? Sometimes. Do I feel the need to have children at some point? Well, it would be nice, I suppose. But the way my life has played out, I have already accepted that neither of these things may ever be a reality for me. I can shoulder most of the blame for that, because I made some extremely questionable choices over the years; the types of choices I ultimately knew I'd end up paying for.
So, I totally resent people I know constantly rubbing their relationships and children in face, like it's some kind of trophy, and in the race to be awesome, I am coming in dead fucking last. I know they mostly mean well, but I just wish they understood that not everybody needs that sort of life to be okay. Throughout my life, I never got my hopes up that certain things would or wouldn't happen. Sure, you do have a certain degree of control, but occasionally things happen that totally derail you. You could stay derailed for life, or you could dust yourself off and say "life, it fucking sucks you did that to me, but I'll be okay". Do I think I might have been one of those happily married people with two kids? Oh, probably. In a way, though, I'm glad that I'm not. There are still so many things I need to accomplish, and I kind of feel that in order for any of it to happen, I cannot be bogged down with a relationship and mouths to feed. And I am not saying that sort of lifestyle is any less of an adventure; you guys are lucky to have your own families, and I will always somewhat envy that. But I feel really lucky, too. I haven't always had it easy, but it's been a mostly fun life so far, and full of some pretty awesome people, places, and times. I'm lucky to know what I know, and to also still have a nice, long road ahead of me. So, no regrets. It's go time.


grrr, argh.

Um... so I have a small hip flexor strain from running. Left one. Why? Because apparently this is a common injury when one has little 'core strength'. This translates in English to that I am too fat in the gut still, and the lower half of my body is working over-hard to compensate for it.

Ugh. Anyway, this is what has lead to me deciding to take a 7-week pilates class starting November 1st. Yeah, I hate stuff like pilates and yoga, but it is probably less bad for me than high impact things like boot camp (which I kind of struggle with due to my lack of core strength). I want to do this to avoid serious injury, because right now that sort of thing would really set me back on my goal of running a half marathon by the end of next summer, and then a full marathon the spring or summer after that. A lot of people have said it's not a realistic goal, since it's taken most of them 3 or 4 years to train to run a half (I have only been running seriously for around 5 months... really), but I'm pretty optimistic I can do it. After all, I just finished running a 10k race with barely any experience. That's right. I ran a couple of 10k flat-land runs before, and before that the farthest I'd ever gone on a run was 8.6k. I did no hill training at all (and the race was one with a huge hill right at the beginning). But I still managed.

This winter is my 10k training, then pretty much right after that I will start my half marathon training. I will stagger all of the running with core strength classes, and other things I feel will be useful to keep me in top shape like resistance training (possibly Crossfit... but I may still have a ways until I can stomach something that intense), spin class (potentially), and swimming.

I have already begun to alter my diet to fit these demands... so far, it's not as terrible as I thought. It mostly involves reversing the traditional way of thinking about dinner being the largest meal of the day. On weekday mornings, I eat a fairly decent-sized breakfast usually consisting of oatmeal with some nuts and fruit, sometimes a banana, a glass or two of water, half a protein-powder beverage (other half is for before a run) and sometimes toast and yogurt too. On weekends I will usually consume stuff like sausages, eggs, and hashbrowns (made at home, not of the fast food variety). I try to keep lunch pretty simple; soup and salad, or if I am eating at a restaurant I will eat either an entree OR and appetizer (never both), and I try to keep side dishes limited to salad or veg (I will have the fries only if I plan on some sort of physical activity in the near future). My dinners are primarily now a sort of pseudo-extension of lunch, and I try to limit them to being protein and vegetables, with some carbs (and the other half of the protein beverage) if I'm going for an evening run. My after-run refuel is usually yogurt, an apple, and on occasion a piece of whole grain toast. I stay away from soft drinks as a general rule, and limit sweets and snacking to maybe a couple of times per week (unless the snacks are something healthy... and I never overindulge anymore).

Whoa. Sorry if that's a lot of info to process. It is what it is. After all, no one ever got into prime shape by lying in bed watching TV and eating extra-large bags of potato chips.


this is what we do, and this how we do it.

Are you getting bored of my health and fitness posts yet? Then maybe you need to find another fucking blog to read... because this is mine, and this is what I feel like talking about right now. I trust this is clear.

So, in my last post I wrote that I don't care about how much I weigh. While that is mostly true, I realize that I am also one of the most vain people in this world, and a lot of how much I weigh has to do with how I think I look. And...? Let me just say- for the record- that I have looked better. When did I look better? Well, here's the problem; I looked better when I was a pack-a-day smoker. I know, right? I had the most positive body image when I could keep the weight off with cigarettes. Most of you know that I quit smoking almost 3 years ago, and I have no intention whatsoever of picking up the habit again (sometimes when I'm on holidays I will have a 'cheat' cigarette, but since holidays for me happen only once a year, it's inconsequential). What this has meant for me is that I no longer have a method of staving off my cravings for bad food. I am definitely the type of person who, while primarily making healthy choices at the supermarket, will totally load up on ice cream, cookies, and potato chips. For 'emergencies' is what I say. What that actually translates to is an 'emergency' almost every night while watching TV.

Yeah... not good. Currently, I weigh in at almost 150 lbs (okay, so it's really 147.5, but that is dangerously close), which is fucking terrible considering my height is just a hair under 5'6. To be fair, a lot of the weight is probably leg weight since I am a runner, but it's still not ideal, since I am now considered almost overweight. So, for the first time in a long time, I went grocery shopping yesterday and DID NOT purchase any junk food. No ice cream, no potato chips.
I am determined to lose around 25 lbs by next June.

This morning I found out that my 10k running clinic has been postponed until December 7th, which will kind of set me back... so I am filling the space with boot camps and pilates classes (which I probably really need, as I have barely any core strength to speak of), and I will keep doing the practice runs on Wednesdays and Sundays. Plus, it will snow in no time, so skiing should make its way into the agenda in another month. I would say I want to get rid of alcohol as well, but the truth is that I do not drink much anymore. Really! Not even once a week. So for now booze can stay. And what about fast food? After all, I am notorious for hating to cook, and loving the convenience that McDonald's etc. bring to my life. I've decided that fast food is okay occasionally, but will need to be counteracted by a run. A good run, too, not some shitty little lunch-time faker.

So, that's that. Stay tuned to hear about my progress. Or maybe just for other posts about the crap that regularly runs through my brain that has nothing at all to do with my physical well-being. Either way.

Later, skaters.


the things i've stopped caring about

Oh, 2010. What a very strange year it's been. Especially because this is the year I honestly stopped caring about certain things.

1. How much I weigh/how skinny or not skinny I am. I've finally made peace with the fact that I am not 5'10, and I'm built a little like a tank. A bottom-heavy tank. And guess what? That's okay. When I think about how many people my age I know who are not physically active, and constantly eat unhealthily, my body type seems fairly inconsequential. It's genetics... who am I to fight it? I'm actually in the best shape I've been in since maybe 8 years ago. I've decided I will run a marathon before I turn 36 (if anybody is keeping track, this happens in just a little over 2 years from now).

2. What other people think about me. Seriously, whatever. It really doesn't hurt me if someone I've been friends with for years decides to stop being my friend because they no longer agree with my views on things. I'm not trying to say I don't value friendship, but when you really think about it, it's easy to make new friends. At least I don't seem to find it difficult. I usually shrug it off if people don't like me... I'm not in this world to be liked; I'm hear to fulfill my own purpose and destiny.

3. Being in a relationship. For anyone who knows me well enough to know about my serial dating past, this one may read like kind of a joke. But let me assure you that it isn't. As the year wears on, the less and less I care about dating. It just isn't important to me anymore... I figure that if I'm meant to find 'the one' or whatever you want to call it, it will just happen. But it can't be out of desperation. I love how my friends are all "oh, but you just need to put yourself out there more". Excuse me? How much more fucking 'out there' can I put myself? It isn't like I'm a complete hermit. Either way, these days I'm a little too concerned with just doing whatever it is I feel like doing at the time, and not having to answer to anyone, or 'check if it's okay first', or face all sorts of unnecessary questioning when I get home. The only baggage I have to deal with is my own. To be honest, I started seeing a pattern. I've dated so many guys, so how is it even possible that not one of them ended up being something permanent? It's because I've never been happy in a relationship for longer than the first 6 months. I can't see my life revolving around anything but myself. At least now you know.

4. Helping people move. Bottom line: there are exactly 4 people who I will help move. Once that's happened, it's over. It's YYC, people. Buy a car, already. Get a drivers' license. Hire movers. But do not ask me. The beer and pizza only make me fat, and really, I'd rather if you'd just offer to pay for gas.

5. Drinking. No, really. Sure, sometimes I'll go on vacation and get all kinds of loaded with friends I very rarely see... but only then. Alcohol no longer plays a prominent role in my day-to-day life. Do I keep it at home? yeah, but that's for if someone comes over and I feel like they might think it's weird if I can't offer them alcohol. I'm no longer one of those 'hey, let's go for a drink after work' kinds of people (maybe only once a month; actually, probably less than that)... usually I meet people for a run after work now. There was a time I was sure I'd never outgrow drinking, but it appears I was wrong.

6. What other people are up to. I know. So bad. I rarely ever ask about what anybody is doing, and normally wait until people tell me all on their own. It's true. Then again... I've kind of always been that way. I figure that if you want to tell me, you'll just do so without me asking. I'm not nosy. I'm curious sometimes, but I feel like a lot of things are just none of my business.


and now for something completely different...

Wow. I just haven't had much to blog about lately that's funny/thought-provoking/even-the-slightest-bit-interesting. I guess it's mostly because I've finally fully embraced not being in my 20's anymore, and have been living a rather sedate sort of life. And it isn't bad. I think everyone knows that these days I'm mostly about all things health-related; running, considering joining the Crossfit gym, trying to eat better, sleep more... and also barely drinking at all, since I've discovered that though I enjoy a drink now and then, it's not something I can't live without. I'm also in the process of determining what the destination of my eventual move away from Calgary should be... it's looking overwhelmingly like Toronto now, rather than the West Coast which it was originally (but don't worry, it's a little ways into the future because I can't afford a move right now). So, I've certainly got some stuff on the go.

But that's not the point of today's post (um... does anyone else notice I haven't posted since something like April...?). I would like to direct your attention to something better. More specifically, it is the personal blog of my cousin. It is the journey of a man once plagued with addictions who has begun a journey of self-discovery on the way to achieving a once long-lost childhood dream, and list of things to do before the clock runs out (he calls it the Fuck-it List). Even if you're not super into inspirational blogs, give it a try. It sure as fuck is what's keeping me motivated.



the deal-breakers.

We all have them. And some of us have more than others. Like me, for instance. But that's probably because I'm paranoid/picky/particular.

Top Ten Deal-breakers

1) You make fun of the fact that I love the movie 'Footloose', and even go so far as refuse to watch it with me. Okay... seriously? What am I supposed to believe, that all you ever watch are French art films? Because I'm not buying it. I'm not saying that it's any sort of cinematic masterpiece... but it's highly quotable, has a killer soundtrack, and it has Kevin Bacon dancing in it. Kevin. Bacon. Dancing. See? Doesn't seem all that preposterous when I spell it out like that. In fact, I like a whole ton of movies with the same kind of story line and catchy tunes. Sue me.

2) You force me to consume meals after 8 pm constantly. Not eating meals after 8 is not stupid, it's how I keep myself from having to upsize my wardrobe every few years. If your lifestyle can't accommodate my eating habits, then too bad for you.

3) You dress badly. Now, I've put up with a lot of shitty fashion choices in my day (both from myself, and from boyfriends), so now it's time to just lay it out and there and say that the way you dress either reflects well or poorly on me. I'm sorry, but when you're a guy over 30, growing your hair out is not an option. Neither is wearing a toque and a hoodie everywhere you go... especially if you've got me in tow. I take pride in my appearance, and I resent any guy who makes a mockery of that by always looking like he's going to the bar to watch the game with the boys... in 1985.

4) You have mediocre to poor personal hygiene. Alright, so when I was in college everybody was sort of sloppy in this area. But it was the grunge era. As a whole, people were greasier, smoked more weed, and slept in a lot later. Fast forward to today. You are in your 30's. You can probably identify as some sort of a professional (unless you actually can't... we'll get to that soon...). What exactly is so hard about taking a shower every day? And if I'm going to have to make out with you, could you at least brush your teeth (and not in a half-assed way where you just wet your toothbrush down... I mean for real, with flossing and toothpaste and all that)? Additionally, don't do that thing where you reach into a pile of clothes, sniff everything, then pick what smells the least offensive and wear that. I will know that's what you did.

5) You still work at some slacker sort of job. If it was an okay job when you were in your early to mid 20's, chances are it is still an okay job... for someone in their early to mid 20's. As independent as I am, I cringe when a man of a certain age still struggles hard to pay the rent. I'm not opposed to paying when we go out (I'm all for equality in a relationship), but there's something nice about a guy who will always pay the bill before I even have the chance to see it. I really dislike hearing the following: "If you pay for this on your debit/credit card, I will pay you back in cash later". Why the fuck are we even going anywhere if you don't have the money?

6)You are constantly saying "I'm a nice guy.". Um... okay, I GET it already. If you're really such a nice guy, why the hell do you have to keep saying it out loud? It's pretty much the equivalent of saying "I'm not a nice guy.". I don't really need to hear either one of those things; I will determine on my own whether or not you are worthy of me sticking around for the long haul.

7) You won't hold my hand at the movies, but you have no problem with groping me inappropriately in public. Seriously... don't fucking touch me. Ew.

8) You ask me to grow my hair out... but if I ask you to shave off your homeless-looking beard, or cut off your mullet, you get all bent out of shape. Hey, if you won't compromise, neither will I. It's how I operate. Also, I like having short hair... so if that's not your thing, you have ample opportunity to bail.

9) You don't like animals. No, not like that... but if I get a hesitant reaction when I mention that I have a dog, then I know it probably won't work out.

10) You never listen to anything I say, and therefore have no idea who I even am. To be fair, sometimes my mind drifts mid-conversation, but I always keep my ears open for important things a guy tells me about himself. It's helpful for times like birthdays or Christmas, or just if I happen to spot something while window shopping. When you take me to the mall a month after my birthday and say "pick something out that you want, and I'll buy it", then I know it's all been going in one ear and out the other. My favorite bands, kinds of food, books, movies, etc. should all be stored in your little brain somewhere.

What are your deal-breakers?


another comprehensive list.


1) First kisses with someone new (or just full on make-outs on the street).

2) Never having to wear heels.

3) Carrot juice.

4) Realizing that my pants fit a little looser than they did last week.

5) Yelling at kids to 'pick up yer fuckin' garbage, and get the hell off my property!'

6) Finding out I'm really a morning person, and that I've just been repressing it with years of staying out too late.

7) Unexpected deals at the supermarket. And no, I don't mean stealing.


1) Periodically missing smoking, even though the exposure to it now makes me sick.

2) People who get angry when I constantly apologize for things. Um... maybe I AM legitimately sorry, dickfarmer. Fuck.

3) Finding mold on the bread when I'm already halfway through the loaf.

4) Loving everything about a movie except for the ending.

5) Never finding anything good when I Google my own name. I mean, not like I think I'm so awesome and that there should be volumes about me out there... it's just disappointing to find that I'm really fucking boring.

6) Not knowing where certain smells are coming from in my home.

7) People who won't shake hands with me. I don't have herpes, motherfucker. Also, I always carry a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse. You can borrow it after you've shaken my obviously diseased hand. Fuckface.