Welcome to the first installment of 'The Monday Hate-on', a list of random complaints, dished out in my typically acerbic manner. Feel free to post angry comments... I'll feel just as free to delete them if I don't like them :)
1) Don't you hate it when you go to Starbucks (or any similarly-styled coffee house), tell your order to the barista/cashier person, then they go and repeat to you what is essentially your order... but substituting all your words with snobby, coffee-house lingo? It's like, fuck you, I don't care for all your dumb, made-up words for things as simple as 'water', 'foam', or 'large'. If I mean I want a 'large' sized beverage, that's EXACTLY what I mean. Now make my drink, and it had better not be lukewarm, or you are so not getting a tip.
2) Why is most peoples' first course of action to phone me in a panic when they can't figure something out? This is especially a piss-off when I agree to drop whatever it is I am doing to help them... only to arrive on the scene to find that, in the mean time, they have found a solution to their problem, and no longer require my help. So... JUST WHY IN THE HELL COULDN'T YOU HAVE PHONED ME RIGHT AFTER YOU FIGURED IT OUT? I think people just like wasting my time.
3) If you're not sure how to pronounce something, for God's sakes, don't say it out loud. No, really, trust me on this one. It will save you a world of embarrassment and ridicule. Like those idiot girls at 7-11 on Saturday... I think they meant TAQUITOS... but they kept saying TOSQUITOS. What the fuck? Where are you getting that from? They're so lucky I didn't pick a fight over it.
4) I'm starting to get increasingly angry about people not having drivers' licenses when they are older than 21. I am especially annoyed by it when these people start complaining that it takes them 'forever' to get around on the bus. I mean, seriously. Seriously? It's not hard to drive a car. REALLY not hard. It's also not that hard to get a license to drive one... most of us passed the test in 1-2 tries.
Don't complain about the slowness of public transportation if you can't even be bothered to learn how to drive. The rest of us consider you a special kind of stupid.
5) Stop asking me if this is my natural hair color. It's not. In fact, it's a custom color created for me by my hairstylist (it's called 'Veronica Lodge'... that's right, it has a name). Just so you know, I think that people who actually believe that jet or blue black hair exists in nature are complete morons. Just so you know.
6) If you're someone who likes to shake hands with people, can you at least wash your hands? I can't stand poor hygiene in general... but the worst is people who don't consider hand washing all that important. Also, I guess I have enough trust issues that I have trouble believing that MOST people wash their hands often enough at all. Don't feel insulted if I won't shake your hand... I just don't want to catch 'hand herpes' or whatever kind of sickness that you might be choosing to share with me.