fairweather friends, and other annoyances.

First things first... cell phones. Now, there is no way I will ever get a land line again, but when you really think about it, cell phones are a pretty piss-poor alternative. The main reason being that they are more disposable than they ought to be. I honestly believe that every phone is sold with the battery already half dead, and that the SIM card is purposely attached to said half dead battery so that once it does die, you don't have the option of just purchasing a brand new battery, just an entirely new phone. That's pretty fucking sneaky. Just wait until I invent a chip that lets us communicate with eachother 'telepathically'.

Secondly. To you people out there who have uttered the following, "You wouldn't understand because you've never been married/had kids/owned a farm/killed a man/etc.": die. Seriously. Sure, I may not have first hand experience at everything in life, but I am also not a) blind, b)deaf, c)completely unobservant, or d)a moron. Give me the benefit of the doubt, because my observations/advice can sometimes be pretty goddamned helpful. But if there's a chance that you do not want my opinions because I can't possibly even relate to whatever it is that you're saying to me that's so important, then maybe I'm not the person you need to be talking to.
I'm just sayin'...

And now, the actual reason for this post...
people who haven't called, written, sent smoke signals, sent emails, texted, etc. in months and months (okay, I won't be that nice about it... it's been well over a fucking year), and then suddenly invite you to something like a birthday party. Or, for arguments' sake, let's say it's a stag/stagette party. And let's also just say that this little shindig falls on the same night as another shindig (let's make this one the 'hypothetical' birthday party) with people who run in the exact same social circle. Say you only want to go to the birthday party because it's for someone who actually calls you once in awhile.

Are you even following me still? Whatever, let me finish.

You go to the birthday party, then somewhere in between one of the stag party people shows up for a bit (remember, same social circle), and then leaves again, reminding you that they're at the Ship (ahhh... there goes 'hypothetical'...) and that they hope to see you later. Needless to say, after the birthday party, you just ditch everybody to go drinking at a dive bar with one of your most alcoholic (and unrelated to these other clowns) friends.

Are you sure you got all of that? Because it is pretty damned convoluted.

Anyway, I believe what I was getting at is this: why do people who essentially stop associating with you suddenly invite you to stuff, and fully expect you to say "Awesome! I'll totally be there!"? Are they just trying to rub it in your face somehow? Did they truly forget that they haven't actually spoken with you for well over a year? Do they just not have very many friends, so they have to resort to inviting people who may or may not even remember who they are? Then again, there are people who are going to tell me that perhaps they are making a genuine effort to revive the friendship... but I doubt that, because if they were, why wait for a specific occasion? There were plenty of other times when it might have looked much more sincere.



Susie said...

I was wondering how that whole debacle went. I'm stoked I didn't go to either "shindig".

manaboutcowtown said...

I think that you have to give people the benefit of the doubt. They did invite you. I know I've done exactly what you describe. Because really, the only time I stop to think about trying to organize a big gathering is for a special occasion. I know I haven't talked to these people in a long time but it doesn't mean that I like them any less. Just that life sometimes carries you along a path that leads away from some. Plus I figure they will get along good with my other friends and it might be a fun time for all.
I certainly don't get upset if they don't show because really what did I expect but at least I've extended the invite.
And when it happens to me I usually don't show up, but at least they thought about me when they were trying to surround themselves with people they enjoy on day they are noting as out of the ordinary.

missvoltage said...

You make a good point, actually.

I kind of just wondered about other peoples' views on something like this. Personally, I'm the type who, when I stage some sort of event, will only invite the friends I am currently in contact with. That's just me, though, and I think it sometimes makes me jump to conclusions about the motives of others...