... that make me realize that my brain has been severely altered by the use of drugs over the years.
1) Short term memory: I don't have one. No, seriously. Unless I write it down, I won't remember in 5 minutes.
2) Some of my memories never actually happened in real life, but I can't tell the difference a lot of the time. Fuck.
3) Comments I make like this:
"The word 'epic' should only be used if the event actually WAS epic. I mean, unless you're at a party where suddenly it starts raining hot dogs and cherry-flavored jelly beans from the ceiling, and then half the people in the room turn into zombies, and the other half of the peoples' heads explode, then it is probably NOT epic."