1) Everybody is a bunch of dinks. Yes... EVERYBODY.
2) If there are only 30 morons in the world, chances are you will either end up working with all 30 of them, or that you ARE one of them.
3) Throw deserving people under the bus while it's still an option.
4) A flight of stairs looks like this:
5) Just because something has an expiry date on it that has come and gone doesn't mean you can't still eat it.
6) If you actually need to ask for someone's opinion on how an outfit looks, it looks fucking terrible.
7) Redheads always seem to compare themselves to whoever the token hot ginger celebrity is. Do you have a mirror at home? You look like the love child of Carrot Top and Danny Bonaduce for crying out loud.
8) The squeaky wheel does not get the grease... it gets ignored until the car breaks down in the middle of fucking nowhere, then you have to hitch a ride into town with Jedediah the Inbred Farm Freak.
9) It's 2009. If you still can't read my blog because you don't have a computer... then fuck you.