the things i've stopped caring about

Oh, 2010. What a very strange year it's been. Especially because this is the year I honestly stopped caring about certain things.

1. How much I weigh/how skinny or not skinny I am. I've finally made peace with the fact that I am not 5'10, and I'm built a little like a tank. A bottom-heavy tank. And guess what? That's okay. When I think about how many people my age I know who are not physically active, and constantly eat unhealthily, my body type seems fairly inconsequential. It's genetics... who am I to fight it? I'm actually in the best shape I've been in since maybe 8 years ago. I've decided I will run a marathon before I turn 36 (if anybody is keeping track, this happens in just a little over 2 years from now).

2. What other people think about me. Seriously, whatever. It really doesn't hurt me if someone I've been friends with for years decides to stop being my friend because they no longer agree with my views on things. I'm not trying to say I don't value friendship, but when you really think about it, it's easy to make new friends. At least I don't seem to find it difficult. I usually shrug it off if people don't like me... I'm not in this world to be liked; I'm hear to fulfill my own purpose and destiny.

3. Being in a relationship. For anyone who knows me well enough to know about my serial dating past, this one may read like kind of a joke. But let me assure you that it isn't. As the year wears on, the less and less I care about dating. It just isn't important to me anymore... I figure that if I'm meant to find 'the one' or whatever you want to call it, it will just happen. But it can't be out of desperation. I love how my friends are all "oh, but you just need to put yourself out there more". Excuse me? How much more fucking 'out there' can I put myself? It isn't like I'm a complete hermit. Either way, these days I'm a little too concerned with just doing whatever it is I feel like doing at the time, and not having to answer to anyone, or 'check if it's okay first', or face all sorts of unnecessary questioning when I get home. The only baggage I have to deal with is my own. To be honest, I started seeing a pattern. I've dated so many guys, so how is it even possible that not one of them ended up being something permanent? It's because I've never been happy in a relationship for longer than the first 6 months. I can't see my life revolving around anything but myself. At least now you know.

4. Helping people move. Bottom line: there are exactly 4 people who I will help move. Once that's happened, it's over. It's YYC, people. Buy a car, already. Get a drivers' license. Hire movers. But do not ask me. The beer and pizza only make me fat, and really, I'd rather if you'd just offer to pay for gas.

5. Drinking. No, really. Sure, sometimes I'll go on vacation and get all kinds of loaded with friends I very rarely see... but only then. Alcohol no longer plays a prominent role in my day-to-day life. Do I keep it at home? yeah, but that's for if someone comes over and I feel like they might think it's weird if I can't offer them alcohol. I'm no longer one of those 'hey, let's go for a drink after work' kinds of people (maybe only once a month; actually, probably less than that)... usually I meet people for a run after work now. There was a time I was sure I'd never outgrow drinking, but it appears I was wrong.

6. What other people are up to. I know. So bad. I rarely ever ask about what anybody is doing, and normally wait until people tell me all on their own. It's true. Then again... I've kind of always been that way. I figure that if you want to tell me, you'll just do so without me asking. I'm not nosy. I'm curious sometimes, but I feel like a lot of things are just none of my business.

No comments: