beer is the plural of beer.

I don't really drink all that much anymore, but I still have plenty to say about peoples' choices of beverage (don't I just always have plenty to say about everything?).

1) Those bottled coolers people are always drinking. Um, EW. You may as well just mix sugar and rubbing alcohol at that point, because that's pretty much how those taste. I've often wondered who actually tests these things before they go on the market.

2) Low-rent beer. I always get myself in a lot of shit over this one because I tend to drink Miller Genuine Draft when I can't decide what I want. To justify this, let me just say that if you've ever been at a party where your only beer choices were Budweiser or Labatt Blue, you'll totally know where I'm coming from. I get that MGD is not the Cadillac of beer, but it's not like it's Black Label either. Besides that, though, I am a well-known beer snob. I very rarely drink non-imported beer, and even amongst those choices I am fairly picky.

3) Jagermeister. Seriously, if you're going to buy me a shooter, make it straight up Wild Turkey or Jack Daniels. Jager is not only fucking repulsive, but it is a German stomach tonic. Might as well drink Buckley's cough syrup.

4) Lime juice. Not like taking the lime wedge and squishing it over your drink, but the actual lime juice from the guns. Yuck. I really don't get why anybody in their right mind ever adds it to anything, because that's a great way to ruin what could have been an okay drink.


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